This was co-written by three tired teenagers after a sleepover (myself, and two friends: Jessica Heartman, Janel Horcrux). Jessica pushed me to submit it, so...
Onomatopoeia
Strangled by a sunbeam
Early in the morning
While sittin’ by a gurgling stream
This poem’s really boring.
Captured by a moonbeam
Later that day
Saw a little squirrely
Running away.
Attacked by a balance beam
Right before lunch
Tried to run away, but—
Crunch!
Blinded by a laser beam
That night at ten o’ clock
Saw dancing capybaras,
I must have been in shock.
Crushed beneath a ceiling beam
In a hotel by the bay.
The hostess stopped to ask me
How I enjoyed my stay.
I was strangled by a sunbeam
Early in the morning.
Now people are practicing
The homophone of morning.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
haha. cute, funny, waste of space...I like it.
Cool. Though it's random and non-sensical, it's quite clever... Interesting what a sleep-deprived mind (or rather 3 sleep deprived minds in this case) can come up with. Dancing capybaras and lazer beams... awesome.
:thumb: 
This went on a bit and began to lose it's spark by the end, but it made me smile. Congrats to you and your buddies.
This is a good poem, but also one of the WEIRDEST ever. I like the strangled by sunbeams line, and the moonbeam line too
I liked it!!!!
Teehee. That was very amusing. I kept looking for the onomatopoeia, and I wondered why you called it that if there was only one.
Very cute though. Sounds like something Mesh and I would come up with in the wee hours of the morning on soda and chocolate...
Haha, loved it.
Especially "...This poem’s really boring." It's great when writers put down their work within the work... or, at least I find it humorous. Anyhow, nice job. You three should write together more often. : )
I reread this... it's still awesome. I mean... the word "beam" in the first line of the stanza... priceless!
Also reminds me of Weird Al!
A tad morbid, wouldn't you say?
Very funny. I like that there's only one onomatopoeia.
How about adding Jim Beam? Actually, it sounds like this was written under the influence of Jim Beam...
Funny.
Isn't it nice? That's all I've posted and people have been really nice...
Interesting...I didn't think anybody would comment on it, much less enjoy reading it. I mean, we wrote this after sleeping for maybe four hours. I like how random rhyme becomes appreciated art. I adore alliterations.
The point of this was to be random, so all you can really do is laugh. Trying to critque and turn it into something serious would just be useless... so instead, we just laugh with you and bask in the randomness.
I'm so glad!
LOL, this was hilarious!!! I liked it, and it had a good twist of humor.
An onomatopoeia is a word that is used to describe a sound of some sort, like "Honk!" "Ping!" "Ring!" "Errr---eeek!" "Moo!" "Oink!" "eee-aww!" "Boom!" etc...And the one onomatopoeia we had was "Crunch", so we decided to call it that. A random title to go with a random poem.
Glad you liked it. Actually, I was deadly afraid someone would see this and comment...but you guys have been nice. Hm...
Hey, this made me laugh, it was cool. It didn't make any sense but it was still really cool... Liked how you used all the different beams, tell your friends I liked it!
Didn't really understand the title... But I'm a dozy blond and I had to search the word on google. Would you mind explaining a little?
lol
Complete and UTTER nonsense. I'm glad you...enjoyed it. *laughs*
I didn't think anyone would reply. lol But I'm glad it was you, Dusky, and that you read it late/early and could fully...appreciate it.
Did you catch the onomatopoeia?
*blinks*
*begins to giggle* that was all complete nonsense, but I liked it. But maybe that's because I'm reading it pretty late at night/early in the morning myself... but just... lol.